Hi, this is ADHD Coach Ryan with Stimuli. Today we're going to learn about imposter syndrome. What is it? How does it impact those of us with ADHD? And most importantly, here's four tips for overcoming it. So first off, in case you haven't heard of it, imposter syndrome refers to an internal experience that we have a believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be. Let's be honest, pretending to be "normal" is hard. Some social context is really important here, because society teaches us what "normal" is what normal looks like, what normal acts like. And for people like us with ADHD, we've been masking our condition and pretending our entire lives. Pretending that we're not struggling to keep up, pretending we're doing fine, while our brains in our confidence, are clearly not doing fine. And it's no wonder why so many ADHDers are start believing and have believed for a long time that we are stupid, lazy, weird, that we're not trying hard enough. And to quote ADHD thought leader Jessica McCabe that "we are a failed version of normal". This idea that you're failing at being normal, it's just not true. It's not even remotely accurate. Because here's the thing, while I might not know you specifically, I know ADHD. I mean, I have it, I coach it, I work with it every single day. And one of the most common challenges that I see about ADHD is that we have been focusing on our weaknesses and our struggles for so long, that we end up eclipsing our strengths. And then we only see the ways that we're falling short, instead of what we're doing well. Okay, I think you get the point, having ADHD is hard and it's definitely contributing to this feeling of imposter syndrome. So what can we do to overcome feeling like we're an impostor? Here's four simple tips that I have to help you.Tip one, actually accepting praise when it's given to you. So I have a prediction that whenever you are experiencing success, do you immediately start to become anxious and avoid or downplay the things you've done well? "Wow, I really like your sweater." "Oh, this drabble thing? Yeah. I got it on sale." Or, "fantastic job on the presentation." "Yeah, well, it was just a team effort. I was just doing what I showed up to do." Am I right? Or am I right? So next time someone gives you a genuine compliment, I'd like you to try this. Alright, now everyone, repeat after me. "Thank you very much. I appreciate that." Okay, did you actually try it? No, go on, say it out loud if you can. Okay, here, we'll use it in an example just to make it a little easier: "I really liked those no new shoes that you have." Okay, again, repeat after me. "Thank you. I appreciate that." And then just be quiet. No need to deflect, downplay or discount the kindness of others when they give it to us.Tip number two, I call this acknowledge to affirm. The most important thing that we hear all day will be the things that we say to ourselves. There's various studies that show the rate of words that we hear through our mind every day, but it's somewhere between 50,000 and 100,000 thoughts a day. If you were able to write now, I'd encourage you to write this down. And say it out loud the next time that you're feeling badly or feeling that imposter syndrome coming on. And here's what I would say: "I am doing the best that I can, where I am with what I have". Sometimes, we need to remind ourselves that we are trying. You're still learning. It's okay not to hit the target or hit a bull's eye every single time. Even if it doesn't feel like it, you're making progress. One way to make it a little easier to affirm yourself, is to use the words of others to create these reminders. I call this a "feel-good file". You can put this on your phone or even in your email. And what it is is a digital place that you can go back to remind yourself of the times that others have complimented your work. For example, I do this whenever my clients send me a gratitude text message or something that's affirming the work that I did. And it always helps to see, to prove back to myself, that I am doing good work people do appreciate and I matter.Here's tip number three, avoid the potholes. Here in the United States, in the part that I live, we experience some pretty harsh winters, which leads to potholes forming in our streets. As a result, drivers in this region had become quite adept at navigating around these hazards, you know, just to avoid potentially damaging their automobile. So I think the same thing can actually happen when it comes to impostor syndrome, we can use the same technique. Here's what I mean. I want you to think right now, do you know what kind of situations, places or people that could be potential potholes or road hazards, if you'd like, for our confidence? Can you think of things that take the air right out of your tires, so to speak? If so, are there ways you could try to avoid them? How might your life be just a little bit better if you tried a different route and avoided these altogether. That could involve maybe changing some relationships, releasing some people who are in your life or maybe trying a different job.And finally, here's our fourth tip, and I have an acronym for this one. Since it's Tip number four, I call it TLC4IC. And that stands for tender loving care for our inner child. So here's what I'd like you to do: find a childhood picture of yourself, I just saw one today, and if you don't have one, you can use a picture of your own children. If you don't have any of those running around, you can use a picture of a pet or maybe a niece or a nephew or someone that you care about maybe a grandchild. And whenever you feel like an imposter, or you feel yourself engaging in this negative self talk that leads you down a dark path, take out that picture. See if you can still be mean. Can you speak all of those negative things to that person? Of course not. That inner child of ours just wants to know that he or she is accepted and loved. And we know that he or she is trying really hard. Would you talk to anyone else besides yourself that way? I don't think you would.So here's the summary. The four tips, one more time that you can use to help fight against the feelings of impostor syndrome. So tip number one: accepting praise. "Thank you very much. I appreciate that". Tip Two is acknowledging to affirm. Telling yourself and that was the phrase I had you write down, "you're doing the best you can". Tip three: avoid the potholes. All the things that may lead to impostor syndrome, whether it's people, places, work situations, whatever the case may be. And finally, tip four: finding that childhood picture in order to give tender loving care for your inner child. If you aren't already giving yourself credit, then I will. I'm so glad you listened today. This recording and others like it here on the Stimuli app has brought you one step closer to fulfilment in your life. Keep going. And let me leave you with a few of my favourite Ryan reminders. Yes, ADHD is a part of who you are. But it doesn't have to define you. Because you're not broken. You're not lazy. You're not stupid. You just have to be wired a little bit differently. You're doing the best you can, where you are, with what you have. You see what I did there? You are worth it. You are enough. You deserve to be happy. I believe in you. Keep listening to Stimuli, we're here to help.