Hi everybody. It's Steve here again, and I'm back for my fourth audio in the Multiplicity of the Mind series. In the last audio, I talked more broadly about the Internal Family Systems Therapy model as a way of understanding different parts of who we are. This multiplicitous mind that we all have.

I hope you've been thinking about that and linking it to your own self understanding, your own experiences. And my goal is not to highlight problems, but really to create a sense of understanding of one's self. It's part of this journey that we are on with you as in Stimuli.

Now, I talked quite a bit about exiled parts. Parts that we are often dissociated from or distracted from, or detached from in some way. Those are the parts that are holding trauma or distress or pain, that perhaps those memories have not been processed fully. And so, they're sort of held stuck in the past. And maybe from time to time that comes up. But we call them exiles because our systems tend to find various inventive ways of banishing those memories or those parts, so the problems continue. And that might come out in more proactive manager type behaviors, overwork, excess stress, et cetera, or over exercise might be another one. Or more reactive, impulsive ways like addiction behaviors or self-harm. Those are more extreme perhaps, but they're just one of dozens of examples I could have given.

Now, I want to just come back to exiles for this particular audio. And link it more to the ADHD brain. Now, I have to be honest with you and say that the writing and research around the impact of IFS therapy and neurodivergent problems is patchy at best. In fact, I would say that IFS hasn't done a great deal about its own self-promotion through academic roots. It sees itself it more of as a movement, you know, perhaps even different incantations of that have, perhaps, seen it more as a spiritual movement. So, I'm not here saying this is the way forward for any of you. I'm saying that it's just a different way of understanding yourself. And some might be suited to CBT, though ADHD can have its drawbacks with that. But really my goal is just to help you to think more about who you are and why you are the way you are, and hope that that's helpful in some way to you. I certainly think it's a very compassionate model.

So, whilst ADHD isn't a part, in case you are wondering, I've certainly heard people ask that question. I do like to joke that ADHD gives me Tigger-like parts, parts like the Winnie the Pooh character that feel like leaping around the room with all this excess energy I've got. So, obviously ADHD is a neurological disorder and a different type of brain, it's not a part. But what are the types of exiles that might commonly form for people with ADHD?

I've had my own IFS, both in training as a therapist, and also afterwards in my own personal therapy. Something I found very enlightening, and a largely enjoyable experience, and at times profound. I wasn't surprised to find exile parts of myself. Still stuck in the classroom wondering what on earth is going on. Feeling stupid and not enough. That, I would imagine, is pretty common.

I've certainly met other clients who have parts like that, having those struggles. But equally it might be parts that are struggling inter-relationally, or were bullied. So, their impulsive behaviors or hyperactive behaviors might have made them feel judged. We're all different and we've all trodden a different path. And that's, I guess, what makes us all interesting and idiosyncratic.

One thing I have noticed about exiles, in the last 18 months that I've been using IFS therapy, is that it's not just what we would consider typical trauma that necessarily causes them. I think most common, and this is purely anecdotal based on my own observations. It's often when parts feel alone with pain, and there isn't an opportunity to process that properly.

So, I would say that it's very likely that neurodivergent people are going to have situations where they feel very alone with pain. Whether that's an ADHD-type scenario that I referred to a moment ago, where one feels judged or one feels not enough, or one feels stupid. Certainly with people with ASD a common feature is feeling different to others. I've met many clients who have various traumas of feeling completely different and cut off from society, and feeling very alone with that pain. Now, have a think about that, you know, what comes up from the past. Maybe it's exile part, just showing you, what it feels needs to be healed.

Until next time.